the makeup use-up challenge 2016.

as i promised yesterday, here is a more detailed post on my current seemingly fruitless endeavor, which is the makeup use-up challenge. i first saw this challenge on youtube being done by a bunch of people, and i think it was started by the youtuber elle is for living? it seemed like an interesting challenge, and knowing that i really needed to focus on using products from my existing stash, i decided that i wanted to join the challenge informally. 

so for the past 4 months or so, i have selected a bunch of makeup items that i either want to use up, use more of, or give another chance before i throw them out. all of these items are honestly quite old items that i want to use up before they go bad, some of them i really do like and some of them not so much. 

now, i've looked at the list that i made last night, and have decided that i actually need to put in more lipstick products in there, since there were only 4 lip products and i already used 1 up yesterday haha. and seeing as how i dubbed 2016 as my "year of the lipstick" i think i kind of need to use up more of my lipsticks and slim down my stash. 

so here's the new list of items that i would like to finish/hit pan/get rid of (but only if i really can't make it work for me). this is A LOT of flippin' makeup to go through haha. here they are according to their categories:

this post is so much makeup i can't even right now.

*deep breaths*

okay, let's do this. so...hi internet hoomans. i am anis. i have a bit of an obsession with makeup, so much so i feel like i need to just take a step back and chill for a bit y'know? in the 4 months of 2016, i have managed to spend more than a thousand bucks on makeup alone. i know. i am ashamed of myself and of my inability to have self-control. this is becoming a problem, but hey, the first step is to admit that you have a problem right?

however, though i regret the amount of money i've spent on makeup (read: hugely regret and omg i feel so guilty aaah) i can't seem to muster the same hate for the products that i've purchased. like, i ain't gonna lie, i love my makeup. this isn't some kind of self-revelation moment where i realize that i'm actually not into makeup that much, or that i'm very pretty already and don't need all this much makeup. no. i love makeup. lol. i am happy with a majority of the things that i have, and i want to use them up. my problem is that i have zero amount of self-discipline and i always want to try out new shades. but baby steps, girl, baby steps, and my first step towards makeup rehab is to STOP BUYING MAKEUP. 

this is gonna be so difficult, but i hope that posting this online holds me in some sort of sacred internet vow where i will be pelted with rotting vegetables when i walk outside, side-eyed by men with thick sideburns, and spat at by old ladies from romania should i fail. so, starting may 2016, i am on a makeup no-buy. a makeup no-buy is exactly that, you don't buy makeup. i am starting with just 2-3 months from now, and will see if my spirits have waned or not by then. i want to say that i won't be purchasing makeup EVER but i want to set a low, realistic goal for myself so that i don't feel overwhelmed and get frustrated. i know this will be hard for me, but i sure as hell hope that i will persevere. i can do this! 

okay, so that means a no-buy from may to july 2016. save that date jarvis. neeeext, i have also joined a challenge called the makeup use-up challenge for 2016. this is where i try to use up or at least hit pan on makeup products that i already have in my collection. i've been doing this since the start of this year anyways, and at first my goal was to finish/pan 10 makeup products. howeverrrr, since i am a makeup whore and continued buying shit even when i was trying to use up shit, i have amassed a LOT of new products this year alone, especially lipsticks. LIPSTICKS ARE SO ADDICTIVE YO. i have discovered that 2016 is my "year of the lipstick" because i've realized that no, actually lipsticks don't look bad on my face. (long story which i will tell in another post) 

so after careful consideration, i've decided that i need to use-up at least 20 items by 2016. doesn't matter what product it is, but i do have a list of items that i'm focusing on to pan or finish first. i also ended up throwing out a bunch of products which have dried out or just don't work for me at all, like seriously no amount of tears or blending can fix that. some of these items i have included in this challenge, simply because they were in my list of things that i wanted to use-up and kinda died while i was trying to use them up. sounds a bit cheaty, but honestly i'm not stopping just at 20 products yo so chill. 

so. here's the list of my items that i want to use up. note that i have more than 20 just so i can rotate them throughout the year as i please, it makes this challenge less stressful that way. (p/s: it annoys me that these are not categorized according to their use i.e. eyeliners, lipsticks etc, but i'll make another post on this i swear)

1. stila hydrating finishing powder
2. topshop skin glow
3. clinique chubby stick - whole lotta honey
4. the balm stainiac - beauty queen (finished this today woo!)
5. loving minerals blush - apricot
6. laura mercier eye pencil - black extreme
7. mac mineralize skinfinish natural - medium deep
8. marc jacobs re(marc)able concealer - 4 glow
9. elf matte bronzer
10. stila eyeshadow - sunset (from the in the light palette)
11. laura mercier hydrating primer
12. topshop waterproof eyeliner - burnished
13. revlon new complexion foundation - 05 medium beige
14. bare minerals ready foundation - r250
15. topshop cream blush - neon rose
16. benefit that gal primer (deluxe size)
17. benefit porefessional primer (deluxe size)
18. laura mercier tinted moisturiser - natural
19. loving minerals blush - terracotta
20. the balm batter up cream eyeshadow - grand slam pam
21. maybelline colour tattoo - inked in pink
22. guerlain kiss kiss lipgloss  - 462 violine
23. mac prep + prime highlighter - light boost
24. pupa diva's rouge lipstick - rossetto
25. mac studio finish concealer spf 35 - nw30
26. inglot precision eyeliner - 40
27. make up forever hd primer - green (old packaging)
28. nyx above and beyond full coverage concealer - yellow
29. loving minerals blush - wild rose
30. bourjois duochrome eyeliner - 59 violet rose
31. nyx slide on eyeliner - esmeralda 
32. collection lasting perfection concealer - 3 medium
33. bare minerals round the clock waterproof eyeliner - 7pm
34. estee lauder artist's eye pencil - 08 slate writer
35. d'herbs celak arab...lol that's it, that's the name. 
36. too faced air-buffed bb creme - cream glow
37. bourjois contour clubbing waterproof - bleu neon

so that's the list so far, phew! i tossed the loving minerals apricot blush and the bare minerals foundation because they did not work for mah face at all. AT ALL. i actually hate both of those with a passion haha. the topshop eyeliner i did like and use up which i'm very happy about. The stainiac i liked also, but honestly it wasn't anything special. 

i am so close to hitting pan or finishing some of these products i.e. the mac msfn and the laura mercier and inglot eyeliners. i am going to dedicate myself to using up these products and enjoying them. in the event where i can't make it work even after fruitless attempts, i will just toss them out. because seriously, i know it be a waste of money and all, but life is too short for me to be frustrated with something that i really should enjoy, right?

sorry about the shitty quality man.

so here's the layout of the products which i will be hopefully panning or using up by 2016. banyaknyeeee....i think i'm gonna make a separate post with more details on each product and how i feel about them. some of these have been in my past project pan...which failed. haha. but i'm a bit more confident and driven this time, fear not! 

that's all folks!

where are you now?

first of all, woah justin bieber song reference. lol. so, like, hi internet. *shyly waves* i know i know, i've been awol. i tend to do that a lot. but i'm here now, just have some free time on my hands so i thought to myself "hey, it's been a while since i've ranted out my innermost desires and opinions onto the web." so here i am.

i won't bother with life updates, just because life hasn't been too kin...no scratch that, i haven't been too kind to myself these past few years. suffice to say, the past 5 years were probably the hardest time of my life. no lie. i got sick, i got emotional, i got demotivated, i felt like hell.

buuuuuut...those things are over now. i hope. so now rather than reflect sadly upon the past (which i sadly cannot change anyway) i will now focus on bettering myself and enjoying the time that Allah has given to me. i will take the failures and experiences that i've had in the past and remember to never do them again in the future, insyaAllah. i honestly think that i've become a better person now, so there's at least that right? *so much vagueness sorry, these experiences are still very embarrassing and traumatizing for me*

so anyways, this is just a new post to celebrate the new me. i'm gonna write another post after this about makeup. okay i have been OBSESSED with makeup as of late, more so than usual pulak tu. help me i need makeup rehab. gah!

2015 sneaked up on me like a tiny ninja.

it's 2015.

is it really 2015?

god it really is 2015.

how the time flies. i haven't even finished my masters yet and the year's ended already. gahhh. i've only got myself to blame for that. i'm a completely lazy wanker. i'm just going to pretend that 2012 to 2014 never happened, and that i am an organised, hygenic, gorgeous goddess instead of the idiot that i really am. yes.

lol no.

to be fair, i am going to submit my draft thesis this february the 5th. yepppp. less than a month away. i am not even close to being done yet, but here i am, posting on blogger. like i said, i am a wanker, but mostly to myself. but i can do it. i'm gonna have to do it cos i got no choice tho, lolzzzz, die. 

so i had a looksee at my resolutions for 2014. mehh, they're typical resolutions. get healthier, be more positive, yadda yadda. don't think i've accomplished anything to be honest. i have lost some weight, and i did get lost often, but that's about it. i ate healthier some days, most days i ate chocolate and binge-watched videos on youtube. but i did feel like i was more positive this year. i wasn't as depressed and depressing as i was when i was sick, and i felt happier most of the times. that's a good start. ooh and i think i shopped less than i did the year before, but more than usual for a broke person. that's...nice?

john gets me. he totally does.

this year i have some new goals and some old ones. yeah i'll try to eat healthier foods and exercise more (tipu) and be more adventurous...but honestly i think i'm just gonna chill. 2015 will be the year that i do nothing. unlike the past few years. totally true. but i do have some things i have to complete this year. i've made very specific mini goals so that they seem less daunting...or more daunting, i really haven't decided yet.

so this year i will:

1. graduate with my masters degree - because if i don't then die la, no use living la cannot finish masters on time
2. get a job that pays actual money - so i can spend it all, woohoo to that!
3. have savings that i will totally not use of more than RM2000 - related to above. i'm not that convinced i can do this which is why i need to do it. maybe i'll use it to travel. i've always wanted to visit london. or new zealand. or greece. or turkey. or ireland. ok ok i'll stop. 
4. earn more than RM1000 in a single salary - dunno why i'm saying this, i've never had an actual job with a salary less than RM1000 (the temp ones don't count for me) but wahey i already typed it.
5. produce 1 journal paper - namely, the one journal paper that i should have done last year but i wasn't done with data collection yet so here i am, journal paper-less
6. lose 3 kg - lol very specific. i originally put 5 kg but i was like eff that i ain't gonna be that motivated. we'll see where this goes. 
7. finish the whole lord of the rings book trilogy (plus appendices?) - i'm extremely embarrassed and ashamed to say that i've never finished reading the lotr books. i know, blasphemy. but this year i will prevail and finish the books. i've already read the hobbit like 4 times so i should have no problems with this endeavor. i'm currently nearly finished with the fellowship of the ring and it's only january so i'm way ahead of schedule!
8. finish game of thrones series - yet another book series i neglected to read. love the tv series, am already on book 3 but i had to reset my phone so my e-book app had to be reinstalled and i lost track of my reading progress. fairly certain i can finish this series as i will have some time when i am unemployed later this year lol.
9. wear bright lipstick outside - this is a weird one. like, you know i like makeup right? but i am terrified of bright lipstick. terrified. i've always dreamed of being confident enough to rock some bright lips on a daily basis. while interacting with human beings. like woah. i have confidence issues when it comes to my lips, i think they're small and uneven and blegh. but i am lucky enough to have lips so i should be grateful and learn to love what i have. so yeah, bright lips. i really need to step out of my comfort zone this year and be a bolder, crazier version of myself! 
10. hit pan / finish 3 makeup products - this is a puzzle of mine. i never understand how people can finish a makeup product. like, i know i have a lot of shit but i've seen people with way more makeup that i have and they seem to be able to finish their stuff before they expire. i just can't. dunno how to. i think it's because i always try to be subtle with my makeup. i wear red eyeshadow but i don't make the colours super saturated and pigmented, i prefer them muted and blended...i think lah. well i'm not gonna turn into cakeface just to finish my makeup, but i want to use at least 3 items until they finish. not skincare cos i finish those all the time. i am confident i can do it though so no worries.
11. organise wardrobe - oh my goddd this needs to be done so badly. i have so many old clothes from 5 years back but i haven't worn them much because i tend to have favourites and only wear those but i can't throw these away cos they're so unused and i feel guilty and sad and i like them but not enough lol. i need to donate/wear/throw out half of these clothes and become more minimalist in my wardrobe approach. i feel zen just thinking about a cleaner wardrobe.
12. take better care of skin - i'm extremely thankful that 2014 was the year that my skin got better. like, it's improved by 80% i would say. i still have some issues with allergies and whatnot, but it's manageable, unlike 2012 and 2013 where i doped myself with antihistamines 90% of the time cos i couldn't stand the itch. this year i wanna make sure i use the right products for my skin and...well, not overuse products, you know? i wanna keep it to the basics. lessen the frills and excessive use of products. i think my skin will thank me for it.
13. find a friend for life - now this is a bit of a challenge for me. when i say friend for life i mean...you know. *blush* lmao. this year i will try to make more of an effort to find my one true love, the frodo to my sam. the sherlock to my john (and i am totally serious about this one). the peanut butter to my nutella. well actually i don't even mean just a boyfriend or whatever, i just mean a friend. someone in sync with me, someone who shares the same gruesome love for horror movies and loves cats and understands nerdy pop culture references and all that. someone who shares my passion for doc martens and is random like i am. someone who's different from me but complements me at the same time. i have a feeling this friend is somewhere out there being a lazy ass like me hence the reason i haven't found them yet lol. 
14. learn one new skill - i've always wanted to learn first aid. it's useful and not many people know it and it might save a life in an emergency. i've also wanted to learn martial arts. not taekwando. self-defence is important for me cos i'm always out by myself and i have no sense of awareness haha. or maybe i'll learn chinese. the options are endless.
15. do one thing by yourself - i always do things alone. it's just how it is for me now. but i always hesitate to do actual things alone. you know that going to shopping malls and watching a movie doesn't really count as useful. i want to do something like volunteer at a shelter or zoo or whatever. well it doesn't have to be by myself, but i mean that i shouldn't not do something just because there's no one else to do it with me. because then i'll miss out on life. and adventures.

aaaand that's it i guess. at the start of next year i'll probably come and visit this post and see how i did with my goals. i'm guessing i'll do horribly hahaha. oh well, such is life. laters!

p/s: in case you were wondering what colour i meant when i talked about bold lipstick, i'm talking about burgundy lips. like this picture:

these are a few of my favourite (makeup) things.

"be careful, you are not in wonderland.

i've heard the strange madness long growing in your soul. 

but you are fortunate in your ignorance, in your isolation.

you who have suffered, find where love hides.

give, share, lose - lest we die, unbloomed."

- kill your darlings

i am a makeup junkie. my obsession with makeup started quite recently (maybe 5 years back?) and i haven't looked back ever since. i like that i'm a jeans a t-shirt kind of girl but i wear makeup like a normal girl...if there is such a thing as a normal girl. 

of course as a makeup junkie there are hits and there are misses. i'm here to talk about the makeup hits, shit that i've bought and loved and find myself using a lot of the times. as a principle i never usually wear the same product consistently, i mean come on, makeup is all about the experimentation and the fun with colour and texture and stuff. but if there ever was a scenario where i had to choose one product from each of these makeup categories, these would be the things that i'd choose.

disclaimer moment though, i don't really wear makeup to attract people towards me. yes i feel more confident when i wear makeup, but only because it means that people are looking at me for me, and not cos i have a mahoosive pimple on my nose, or red patches around my mouth. it makes my face a blank canvas that i can decorate however i want. (trust me, i've worn unflattering looks before. red eyeshadow. emphasized my dark circles to make me look evil. it's fun.)

onwards!