Tuesday, March 26, 2013

creepiest thing in the world.

cockroaches = no. just...no.

i think cockroaches are one of the foulest things ever, alongside dust mites and child rapists. they're fast, and cunning, and they can fit into any crack or crevice in the house, making them absolutely terrifying. i have the highest of loathings towards cockroaches, especially ones who are full ass grown and flying around like superman around my room.

my cat though, can i just say something about wally for a minute? god, he is like the worst. hunter. EVER. though he is to be applauded for spotting the dastardly creature in the first place, he is absolutely rubbish at chasing it. in fact he asked me for help in reaching the cockroach. as if i'd touch the critter, yech. 

he continuously prods his paw at the boxes in my room, even though i was screaming at him that the cockroach had run towards the door, TOWARDS ME. see, i could kill the foul beast. but then wally would be bored. so here's what happened:

me: wally! there it is! go after it man!
wally: meoooow! *where is it?* 
me: whaddya mean where is it? weren't you chasing him a few seconds ago under the bed?
wally: meeeow? *ya but i let it go. have you seen it? have you?*
me: GOD WALLY YOU ARE SUCH A CRAP HUNTER! *picks up j.r.r tolkien's book the children of hurin which is still nicely wrapped in its plastic sleeve thingy and waves it around* I'LL KILL IT MYSELF!

true story. i literally felt like my heart had stopped beating. because the thing was huge! full grown sized brown icy looking cockroach with its tentacles all a-quiverin' and freaking the heck out of me. i'd seriously rather be stabbed in the chest with a fork than have a cockroach in my room. 

i managed to kill the tiny demon by introducing tolkien to its face several times. i wonder where it had come from. i literally shiver when i think about it. 

i remember this one time when i was in my home in kelantan, i was about to fall asleep in my room by myself. it was dark because i had turned off the lights. i was nearly asleep when i heard something. a rustle of something in the room. instantly my spidey senses tingled and i jumped out of bed to turn on the lights.

lo and behold, a cockroach. vile thing was on the wall of my room. i spent nearly 2 fucking hours trying to kill it. agh, it just creeps me out. 

so there you have it. the thing that creeps me out the most, i should think. i've dedicated a whole post for it to show just how much it bugs me. and i don't even know why cockroaches scare me. i don't like their tiny weird legs. i don't like that they're brown. i don't like that they can fly. eeeee i'm shuddering. can't even google up pictures for 'em. brrr.