these are a few of my favourite (makeup) things.

"be careful, you are not in wonderland.

i've heard the strange madness long growing in your soul. 

but you are fortunate in your ignorance, in your isolation.

you who have suffered, find where love hides.

give, share, lose - lest we die, unbloomed."

- kill your darlings

i am a makeup junkie. my obsession with makeup started quite recently (maybe 5 years back?) and i haven't looked back ever since. i like that i'm a jeans a t-shirt kind of girl but i wear makeup like a normal girl...if there is such a thing as a normal girl. 

of course as a makeup junkie there are hits and there are misses. i'm here to talk about the makeup hits, shit that i've bought and loved and find myself using a lot of the times. as a principle i never usually wear the same product consistently, i mean come on, makeup is all about the experimentation and the fun with colour and texture and stuff. but if there ever was a scenario where i had to choose one product from each of these makeup categories, these would be the things that i'd choose.

disclaimer moment though, i don't really wear makeup to attract people towards me. yes i feel more confident when i wear makeup, but only because it means that people are looking at me for me, and not cos i have a mahoosive pimple on my nose, or red patches around my mouth. it makes my face a blank canvas that i can decorate however i want. (trust me, i've worn unflattering looks before. red eyeshadow. emphasized my dark circles to make me look evil. it's fun.)

onwards!

birthday wishlist because why not eh?

"go shawty, it's your birthday" 

it's very nearly november, ladies and gentlemen. the colder months are ahead of us. and might i remind you that it's the birth month of a very special person, aka me? :p

i have compiled a list of things that i have been lemming for a long time, in case someone out there has useless piles of cash they'd want to donate my way. i don't ask for much, i don't expect cars or a house or piles of gold (though smaug is my spirit animal), just...a bunch of really awesome stuff. they don't cost much. i think.

onwards!

•  the witcher 3 wild hunt collector's edition

behold the greatness that is the witcher 3. the graphics look bangin'! for anyone who has never played the game, i'm warning you early on that this isn't suited for kids and people who hate monsters and shit. it also has a fair bit of nudity going on, because the white wolf is a playa' through and through. 

the game's set to be released on february 24 next year, but check out the collector's edition man. it's...it's gorgeous. i cannot wait to play this game. anyone who thinks that this might be their cup of tea should deffo play the enhanced editions of the witcher 1 & 2 because it's amazing. the storyline's amazing, the soundtrack is beyoooond amazing, and the graphics are awesome for their time. 

look at that beautimous collection yo! 

•  zara double breasted short coat

this ain't gonna be the first time i say this, but i really wish malaysia had cooler weather, at least cold enough for me to wear leather jackets without looking like an absolute moron. an absolute stinky moron. but alas, it is not fated to be. but i really do like a lot of jackets from zara usually, and this one really caught my eye.

much pretty, so wow.

that is a really nice jacket. seeing as i usually wear all black this'd be a nice pop of colour for my ensemble. but it's bloody expensive at rm460, i cannot see myself ever buying this unless it was 50% off. everything's so damned expensive these days. *grumbles*

• topshop arcade cutout chunky boots

ah, topshop booties. the bane of my existence. the thing that you have to know about a lot of topshop shoes is that most of 'em use pig skin lining. it's really such a shame, because a lot of the designs especially for the chunky boots are lovely and right up my alley. :(

i bought a pair of topshop boots for myself last year that wasn't of the oinky persuasion and they are super comfortable and awesome to wear. so i thought to myself, hey, why not get another pair, right? (wrong. i am a broke student and can't afford a new pair.) so look at these. these are nice right? 

shuweeeet

it's different from the one i have (there were a few other nice designs but they all looked kind of similar to the one i bought) and it has cutouts. cutouts! it looks really nice. i like nice things. why can't i buy nice things for myself? i deserve it for being awesome. these aren't bad, they're rm233 bucks (on sale online now apparently) buuuuuut, it's not stated whether these have pigskin lining or not, so that makes me anxious. i don't want to sacrifice my religious beliefs for a pair of shoes. nuh uh, no. but they still be pretty. 

• mustard or brown cable knit sweater/cardigan

this might sound a bit weird, but i have been really hankering for a mustard or brown cable knit sweater or cardigan recently. something like this:

it looks so...mustardy

aaaand well, to be honest, this is the picture that inspired me to search high and low for anything mustard to wear.

bwahhhhh so freaking stylish lah.

i really like the look. i really really like it. so i kind of looked around in my closet for something similar cos hey, i don't have style and i like to copy other people's k? but then it made me realise that i don't have a lot of brown or yellow or mustard coloured clothing in my closet. loaaaads of black though. and loads of military green too. but see, military green goes so well with brown and mustard that i'm kind of hitting myself in the head now for not using this colour combo before. it looks so effortless and cool. i...i am none of those things. but i can surely pretend to be. *stares off into the distance*

• diptyque philosykos eau de parfum

like a memory in a bottle

i have been lemming for this fragrance for more than a year now. in fact, i think it's been like 2 years or so since i first scented this work of art (i'm getting poetic here woah shut the front door). for those who've never heard of this fragrance before, in a nutshell, it smells like figs and cream. however, when i first smelled this (i bought a small 1ml vial from a lowyat forumer like 2 years back) it was like a memory for me: i imagined a fig orchard full of lush, beautifully ripe figs and me plucking one from the tree and taking a bite of it. it smells like earth and figs but it has this gorgeous creamy smell too at the end, it really is one of the most unique scents i've ever smelled. i also fell in love with fresh figs ever since i tasted them in saudi (they're not very cheap or readily available in malaysia tbh) and this scent makes me feel inexplicably happy and free. nevermind that i've never been to a fig orchard or seen a fig tree, hah. 

sadly enough, this fragrance costs a bomb. it's rm350 for 50 frickin' ml and rm450 for 100ml (not sure if the price has gone up). like, i'd totally buy it for myself if i had the money but i'm sadly a broke little student. however i am determined that one day i will own this fragrance. and the eu duelle one as well lol (that one smells of a rich sophisticated yet non-cloying vanilla)

oh and also, if anyone wants something similar in scent and pricetag there's also the l'artisan perfumeur fragrance in premier figuier which has the same notes as this one. that one had a lighter smell though, so i prefer philosykos for that reason.

• makeup!!!

of course there'd be makeup. my life would not be complete without throwing money at makeup counters and limited edition collections. for real though, makeup is an expensive hobby. i've been liking a few things from the makeup counters recently...however, i dunno, i don't feel like i need to own them or anything, i've somewhat mellowed down in the purchasing department. i think through my decisions a bit more nowadays, maybe cos i have so much shit already. 

there are some stuff i'd like to test out at stores though. some aren't available in malaysia, some are hard to get access to, some are just bloody expensive. haven't been liking anything from urban decay or mac recently, but the tarte holiday collection for 2014 is looking bloody amazing. 

tarte bon voyage collector's set & travel bag rm210

tarte pin up girl amazonian clay 12-hour blush palette rm159

i have also been lemming some hourglass stuff, but the brand's not available in malaysia so i'll have to go through a spree, and i don't like buying something unswatched...it has a higher risk of disappointment imho. 

hourglass ambient lighting powder palette

hourglass ambient lighting blush palette

another brand to watch out for is guerlain. they have some great makeup and fragrances. i don't own a lot of guerlain products because hello, expensive but the ones that i do have (spiriteuse double vanille perfume and the metorites come to mind first) has great quality and packaging. 

ooh, and one day i'd like to get my hands on some nars. i've been dying to try out their creamy radiant concealer to see if it can cover my stubborn dark undereye circles. also, nars sheer glow. also, their blushes. and cream eyeshadows. and eyeshadows. ohhhkay glad that the only nars store is in pavillion and i'm too lazy to get there cos i'd be broke if i ever went. sigh.

and that is it for my wishlist. i'm sure there's more to add but mehhhhh. tl;dr and all, you know? ta!

wash, rinse, repeat kind of life.

"darling, is this love?"

ehhhh what happened to this blog lah? no updates no nothing. been too lazy to write a post since i haven't exactly been traipsing around the world, living dangerously and having a good time. god my life is so dull right now lol.

aaaaanyways. studies have been better than before, just steadily trying to wrap up my masters thesis now, albeit super slowly. i'm getting there yo, i know i'm slow (got distracted with shit before) but i think i will actually graduate. sucks in breath i know right? shocking.

now that my life is slowly getting on track, i'm starting to wonder about my future. it was hard to think of the future back when i felt like my life was in shambles, a mess of nothings and deadlines and just me not wanting to do anything. but now i have to think of what's to come. 

what kind of person am i going to be? i wish there was a quiz out there that i could take that would accurately determine the kind of person i am destined to be. i know that i want to help people. i want to make the world a better place with my job. the whole reason of why i did my masters in ageing in place, a topic quite a different ways away from my quantity surveying degree, was to potentially be able to help people. nothing potentially life saving like a doctor or a soldier, but to me important nonetheless. 

i want to experience new things. my life feels like it's stuck in a loop. same shit, different day. i haven't done something that's scared me in a while now. i want to challenge myself, to become more than i ever thought i could be. and with the life i have right now my expectations aren't too high. 

i just want to finish this bloody masters and get it over with, so i can finally feel free. it's not the topic itself that's been chaining me down, you know, it's just how difficult the journey's been for me to get information from people, to research something so vast that it spans around 10 different sectors and i feel overwhelmed and even thinking about it makes me tired. it really has helped now that i've a more clear goal of my end results. 

i honestly don't know the kind of person i will be in say, 5 years from now. i just hope that i'll kick ass at whatever i'm doing. you know what? maybe i should make a 5 year plan. it certainly sounds appealing.

(yes i do need a to-do list of what i want to do in life. i am sad that way. i also love to-do lists.)

next post: my 5 year plan. huzzah!

project 10 pan: progress yo!

"i'm searching for a
change of pace"

hello, peeps! i promised updates on my journey with the project 10 pan that i posted before this, so here's my first one!

it's been half a month already of being reserved and using the same products and saving my pennies, and it's safe to say that i've failed. lolz. i ain't gonna sugarcoat it. i failed on the whole saving thing because i did cave in and buy some products this month, when i really shouldn't. but ah well, such is life. i still persevered somewhat in using the same products so that helps right? right?

i listed 10 products in here plus 3 extras, which are listed below. for those who don't know what the hell i am talking about a project 10 pan is when you select 10 products from your arsenal of makeup things and use them consistently in an effort to finish them. or something to that effect. in my case, i'm really just trying to kind of use these products more because i've been neglecting them, and if i happen to finish them huzzah for me!

so here's the update below, and now i finally have pictures yeay! (they were taken with my phone though sorreh)

1) nyx luxurious black label compact powder

i have been reaching for this powder on days where i wear makeup to just kind of set my foundation in place. i always set my whole face and not just my t-zone because i find that it helps my base last longer. i do actually quite like this now, it's got a good slim and sturdy packaging, the colour's not so off now, and it doesn't make my face look cakey. but to be fair, i do always finish my makeup with a spray (avene thermal spray @ mac fix + @ urban decay setting spray) because my skin's pretty dry. 

on another note, they don't sell this anymore because i can't find it on the nyx website. should i be concerned that this product might have expired? *shrugs*

amount of product left: used a few times but no dents showing yet. disappointed. will powder face more vigorously to create dent.

2) inglot amc undereye corrective illuminator

no swatchies of the colour cos it's completely run out boo

guess why this product's crossed out? guess why? that's right kiddies, i managed to finish this up! i am crazily proud of such a meager and sad accomplishment, but hey at least i did what i set out to do, which was to use this baby up. i've grown to really like this too as i've improved my base application skills and this doesn't look as grey as it did before. 

will i repurchase this? probably not, because there are so many other things out there i wanna try, even from inglot itself. and i do have another similar type of clicky pen highlighter thingy in the form of the loreal lucent magique light touch-up pen (too light for me but there was only 1 colour, so i was like yolo lolz). who knows one day i might be able to afford the yves saint laurent touche eclat concealer? *melampau*

amount of product left: 0% oh yeeeaaaaahhhh!

3) stage cosmetics blush in mimosa

look, swatch! much professional. so wow.

i've struggled with this one. i am a blush fiend, and i kind of have blush phases where i wear a certain product or colour for a period of time before getting sick of it. my current fave blush now is the clinique cheek pop blush in berry pop which is gorgeous. gorgeous! so i have been somewhat using this less than i should, even though the colour is this beautiful brown rose colour that looks nice with contoured cheeks. 

honestly though, maybe it's just cos i have a lot of blushes. i am absurdly proud of this fact lol. 

amount of product left: probably like 70% product still there. small round dent in the middle of the product and it's just begging to be more dented..that sounded kind of weird. 

4) the body shop bronzer in warm glow

i don't think i'll ever be able to finish this. honestly, how the fuck does someone use up highlighter? you need so little for the entire face. been using this as a highlighter all over the high points of le face and as eyeshadow. doesn't last too long but since i start getting a natural shine to my face anyways a few hours into my makeup it really doesn't matter. 

it's very pretty though. :)

amount of product left: still enough to last a lifetime. 

5) bourjois healthy mix foundation in 56 - light bronze

i didn't do too well with this one too, but not for the reasons i thought. i actually have been wearing minimal makeup lately so i've just been using concealer on the places where i need it. so not a lot of foundation action unless i'm having a bad skin day, then i'll use the mufe face and body foundation which is awesomecakes. i did use this a few times by itself or mixed with moisturiser for a lighter coverage.

on a random note i'm so grateful my skin's better now. still have spots and shit but i'm more confident in my own skin too, which is great. 

amount of product left: 3/4 of the product left to go!

6) mac mineralize skinfinish natural in medium deep

i'm happy to report that i do use this as a sort of blush/contour thing to define my chubby face. (god, even the word chubby sounds so happy, fat and cute. like marshmallows. lol.) it's subtle, but i've been liking subtle lately so it works. i never used to use bronzer or any darker shades on my face to define it, but i find that it makes such a difference to the overall look. i use this kind of as a setting powder on the areas that need to be contoured, so i don't need to set my makeup in those areas and make meself look like cake.  

the quality is good, and i'm contemplating getting this in a colour that suits my skintone. i just need to finish at least 2 face powders beforehand because i have a hoarding problem and i need help. 

amount of product left: dent is a bit larger but still a lot to go eh. 

7) the body shop vitamin e moisture serum

i have been using this diligently this month, and i concede that it's not a bad serum. it doesn't break me out or give me an allergic reaction, but i don't think it's that special anyway cos my oils are more hydrating. i'm saving up for better serums that can help my skin better, i'm sure there are better ones than this out there. 

amount of product left: there's like maybe 10% left now? wow!

8) first aid beauty anti redness serum

haven't used this as much as i should have, because i've been using the body shop serum and this vitamin c serum i got as a freebie from an online purchase lol. this is a good product, it helps calm down skin somewhat and it reduced my redness a bit when i had redness in my skin from allergies and all, but now my skin's behaving a bit better so i don't really get much benefits from this serum. 

amount of product left: i'd say 35%. 

9) inglot soft precision eyeliner in black (40 i think)

ehm, i haven't been using eyeliner too much these days. well no that's a lie, i do use eyeliner but i usually just tightline, and this eyeliner is not good for tightlining because it's got glitter particles in it. glitter's not good for the eyeballs, yo. and most days i just use mascara, because i've been getting into mascaras lately cos they make my eyes look brighter. so i fail at this one. fail fail fail.

in the swatch you can see that the colour's kind of grey black. it's certainly not a pitch black (yes there is a difference, shockingly enough). the swatch beside it is the eyeliner i've been using for my waterline, it's the laura mercier eye pencil in black extreme. it's darker than the inglot eyeliner, but the darkest eyeliner i've ever laid my eyes on is still the urban decay 24/7 liner in perversion. dayum that thing is black. 

amount of product left: still 7.5cm left. 

10) thebalm liquid timebalm spot concealer

i have been liking using this as my face base! i never thought i'd see the day, because i love foundation because it gives such an even canvas to work with. but i'm letting my good skin breathe, and this has helped in covering my blemishes and crap. put this on my spots, blend with buffing brush and set. simple. this used to make my skin a bit itchy i think, but apparently not now, but i still play it safe and avoid putting it near my eye area where my eczema's more prone to occur. 

amount of product left: less than 2/3 left? i have no clue man.

11) extra: youngblood mineral primer 

i am proud to say that i've been using this regularly, even when i go out of the house in my au naturel state. this diffuses my pores and mattifies my face a bit so i don't look like an oil slick, a problem that still happens even with my drier skin. this is good. i hate the packaging though because the cap keeps coming off. the writing's also all rubbed off as you can see, which irks me a bit because this shit was expensive so one would have expected better packaging. but i guess they put cash in the product not the packaging so that's good.

amount of product left: 1/3 left! woohoo baby! 

12) extra: urban decay eyeshadow primer potion in sin 

i use this sometimes as eyeshadow, haven't used it a lot though. it's a pretty champagne colour and it's flattering, but i dunno, it's a bit too shimmery for me. i tried patting it in instead of rubbing though and that looked way nicer so yeah, a work in progress still.

amount of product left: still 3/4 left.

13) extra: barry m dazzle dust in 100

haven't used this much as i haven't used eyeshadow, same deal. i think i used it like twice maybe? pity, it's a really lovely colour. but i'm not that worried cos this'll last a long time since it's not a cream product. i might try out this look one day, cos it's teh bomb.

cantiknye akak ni lol.

look at that pop of gold! fabulous i say, fabulous. anyways, yeah i should use this eyeshadow a lot more. 

amount of product left: lots to go. really, not kidding.

ah well, that's it from me. i had the urge to blog and edit pictures so this is the result.

ta!

my probably overambitious project 10 pan, woohoo!

my name is muzicphreak, and i am a makeup hoarder. 

it started about 5 years or so ago. i just started getting a bit of a crush on the world of makeup. i was fascinated with how some colour on the cheeks could make a person look healthier, or how a dash of red lipstick made a woman look more confident. most of all i needed it because i looked too much like a kid and people had a hard time taking me seriously lol. 

but thus i began liking, nay, loving makeup. it's lead up to today, where i have an ikea helmer drawer filled with makeup.

not included in the picture: a shitload of makeup.

it is rather excessive, since i do only have one face to actually make up, but i find that i really, really like makeup. like, i like applying it because i feel like my face is a canvas and i can get to mess around with it anyway i want. if i'm feeling cray-cray i use funky eyeshadows and i wing my liner way out like a mofo, if i'm feeling particularly devious i use dark colours and make myself look evil. it's fun, it's like putting on a costume or a disguise. i honest to god sometimes go out because i just want to wear makeup. i am kind of nuts. 

however, all this experimenting does come with a price. a hefty price. i often find myself wandering the aisles of sephora or the drugstore looking for something cool to experiment with. as a result, i am broke as a mofo (this is normal though, i've learned to embrace this). but i kind of want to control myself a bit more, be a bit more disciplined about how and when i spend my money. so i've decided to do a project 10-pan. 

what is a project 10-pan? well, the definitions vary (lol can you tell i've been working on my masters thesis?) but basically it's when you choose 10 products of your choice that you want to try to use up under a certain amount of time. you cannot buy new makeup unless you have finished the same item from the 10 items you've chosen. so for example, if i wanted to buy a new foundation, i would have to use up the old one first.

i have went ahead and chosen 10 products that i want to use up, along with some others that i want to kind of use more because for some reason or other they have been neglected in my makeup drawer, looking and lonely and sad because i haven't used it much. these products are:

1) nyx luxurious black label compact powder

bought this in saudi like about 3 or 4 years ago maybe? barely used it as there weren't any testers in store so i bought it (or ahem, my mom bought it for me) blind not knowing how the colour looked like. turns out it's a bit too light for my skin. now that i'm using sunscreen more regularly my skin's gone a bit lighter so this works out okay for me, so i'm gonna try to use this as much as i can and make a sizeable dent just so it's not wasted. 

amount of product left: a lot. doesn't look like it's been used at all in fact. :\

2) inglot amc undereye corrective illuminator

bought this baby like maybe 2 years ago, so it's not that old teehee. it's an undereye illuminator, but i use it mainly like as a highlighter on places where the light hits. i used to quite like it before even though it was a bit light for my skin (it's hard to find suitable stuff for my skintone) but now i feel like it's kind of drying. anyways, i don't think there's a lot of uses left for this one so i'm gonna persevere and finish it up. 

amount of product left: not sure, probably 20%?

3) stage cosmetics blush in mimosa

stage cosmetics was a malaysian cosmetics brand with kind of good quality products. unfortunately i think the brand is no more because all of their stores have closed down a while back. i bought this blush on sale a really long time ago and used to use it a lot until my blush hoarding tendencies became more prominent. it's a beautiful colour, like a mauvy rose i'd say? common colour, but still quite nice. not very long lasting though.

amount of product left: a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll...er, a long way to go.  

4) the body shop bronzer in warm glow

my first ever highlighter! i really wonder why they call this a bronzer because it is shimmery as fahhhhkkk. i like this and it has lasted me an extremely long time (honestly, there's barely even a dent in it!). however the shimmer's a bit more pronounced compared to my favourite highlighter the mary lou-manizer from thebalm. i think it's a baked "bronzer" because it's got that domed effect going on. i'm gonna try to use this one everyday but i don't see myself making that much of a difference because how much shimmer can i pile onto my face without looking like a gay vampire?

amount of product left: enough to highlight face until retirement

5) bourjois healthy mix foundation in 56 - light bronze

ooh, my mom bought 2 of these for me from saudi. this is my second bottle of the stuff, and i do quite like it. it smells amazing, like putting fruits on yo' face. unfortunately as time goes on i've realised that this shade runs a bit pink-toned so it makes my face look kind of ashy. not very obvious unless you see a before and after picture but it kind of bugs me. plus i find the coverage to be quite thick now so it clings to dry patches on bad skin days. i'll try to soldier on with this and will use it unless my skin's being very naughty that day.

amount of product left: 80% or thereabouts.

6) mac mineralize skinfinish natural in medium deep

now this is a product i really do quite like a lot and would have used a lot more, if not for the fact that it's become too dark for me. gahh i never thought i'd see the day. it used to match me perfectly and it's a good powder to set foundation if you wanted a flawless finish. now when i use it though, my face looks really dark. *sadface* so unless i tan i can use this as my bronzer which is lucky cos i'm in a bronzing phase. 

amount of product left: a dent is visible, but no pan seen. a lot to go.

7) the body shop vitamin e moisture serum

this was bought last year, so yeah, it's not expired yet. my skin's a bit wonky cos sometimes it's dry and sometimes i break out like a pre-teen. it's quite frustrating. i'm halfway through this product and i don't think it'll be a hassle to actually finish this. the only reason i think i stopped was because i started using facial oils and liked that better, and because this has fragrance in it which kind of scares me. i'll use it up if it doesn't make me break out in hives. 

amount of product left: one third left. no problemo!

8) first aid beauty anti redness serum

can you tell i like serums? this was bought i think nearly 2 years ago when my skin was out of whack and i was super dry and scaly and sensitive. i had hives all over my face and so i wanted something that could help with calming down my skin. this stings when i put it on my face. stings! but it does disappear in a while, but my face feels slightly warm and weird. does that mean that it's working? dunno. it is quite good in calming down the skin; i used it today on my mouth area because i'm kind of having a reaction there for some reason, and it really helped. i probably won't repurchase though because my skin's been behaving a lot better now. 

amount of product left: dunno, package is opaque. i'd wager 40% is left.

9) inglot soft precision eyeliner in black (40 i think)

an old product. it's not bad, it's not really good either. i think i'm not partial to it because it's got tiny specks of silver glitter in it, and i don't really do glitter liners. it's also not waterproof and does smudge throughout the day, but it works well enough for a normal day out if i smudge it out and set it well. honestly i have so many black eyeliners that i need to go through, and i will not repurchase this cos there are better ones out there that are prolly cheaper. 

amount of product left: measures 7.5cm with cap off. hmm.

10) thebalm liquid timebalm spot concealer

eep i don't know how old this one is. quite old i'd reckon. i never used to be a concealer kind of person cos i was too lazy, but now i appreciate the use of it now and then. this has tea tree oil in it and is supposedly good for spots. i find it kind of too liquidy for me to do any good because i touch my face a lot so this'll wear off in no time even if i set it. but it's still okay to use for minor spots.don't think i can use this for my demonic dark under eye circles cos i think they make my eye area itch. 

amount of product left: i think there's quite a lot left. not sure, maybe 2/3.

11) extra: youngblood mineral primer 

is it true that good quality mineral makeup never actually expires? that sounds...iffy. but if that were true then this primer is still ok because it's been like 3 or 4 years and it's still going strong! it does have a fishy smell going on which is super alarming, but upon experimentation my face is still ok and it still works well. this is a great primer because my skin feels super smooth after using it and i need like a teensy amount only, smaller than a pea. and hot dang it cost an arm and a leg, so i'ma keep using it until it kind of...well, reacts? :p

amount of product left: halfway there.

12) extra: urban decay eyeshadow primer potion in sin 

this one's still in the old packaging. bought 3 years ago i think, but hardly used because even though it's a gorgeous champagne colour it is kind of super shimmery when applied wrongly. i am no longer a shimmer fan, i mean i like subtle shimmer but this is kind of like scary shimmer where i feel like my eyes are super obvious and scary looking. have to use this up slowly even though i've been skipping the eyeshadow lately.

amount of product left: 3/4 maybe, cos i don't use it a lot.

13) extra: barry m dazzle dust in er...100? (it's gold. or copper. or bronze. not sure) 

this one's quite recent. it's an eyeshadow pigment. it's honestly sooooo pretty, and i really like it but it's quite a faff to use cos it's a potential spill hazard and it's in a small jar so i usually forget about it. but i feel like this'd be nice used all by itself with just eyeliner. will use it more and make a dent in it. 

amount of product left: hah, it still looks new and full of sparkly goodness. lots to go!

aaaaaand that's it! these are the things that i am gonna work with first. now, i'm not saying i'm gonna stick to this system faithfully, because of several reasons. sometimes the products don't work for me on certain days. with this i mean my face products like concealer and foundation; some days my skin is dry and some days it's okay. on dry days the healthy mix serum accentuates my dry patches so i can't use it, or i will kind of mix it with moisturiser. we'll see how this goes. 

so i'm starting this for a month first to see how i fare, and then work on an update from there and see. ooohh this is quite exciting i must say. i do hope i can stick to these things cos i really need to use up some stuff so i can make way for new stuff muahahaa.

okay, that is all. i might edit this to include pictures but we'll see!

i'm not really bothered to think of a cool title for this post.

"i've been dying to get out,

and that might be the death of me"

this week..gah, this week has been terrible on my life. a harrassment on my pure angelic senses, i must say. i'm drained dry and withered by my cruel experiences of this week.

well i was pissed off, which amounts to the same thing really.

my car decided that it was tired of living, thus my car battery and car remote battery (you know, the beep beep thing) decided to die on me. 

rivers of tears were shed, figuratively. i had to reschedule an appointment with my project leader just because of you, car. i thought we were friends. god, i thought we were friends. *slow sobbing*

bad things are happening with my studies right now, but i am reluctant to elaborate on the matter because honestly, it gives me anxiety. 

spongebob does anxiety quite well tbh

BUT! there were some awesome things that happened this week. for one, i went shopping. lolzzzzz. well i had to cheer myself up somehow right? 

i received a birthday gift from sephora which expired on the 24th, so i had to go claim my prize. i mean, it's the polite thing to do, and obviously having arrived at sephora one cannot just stick to the plan. i mean, that's not very creative. so i bought some stuff. and i'm happy with them, so so happeh!

loot!

tha main thing i was excited about was the guerlain meteorites perles in teint beige. i've been lemming this for a teensy bit. see, ever since i had these skin problems i have been obsessed with skincare and makeup i think. i researched these things on the internet and short of feeding your cats when you are not at home and folding your clothes it claims to do a whole bunch of miraculous stuff, like blurring imperfections and fine lines, reduce redness and more. 

i tried it in store, wasn't that impressed with it but i still wanted to give it a chance because the reviews are mostly all positive. tried it out yesterday and oh my god. i don't even know what the hell it did to my skin but i looked at myself while i was in the car and my skin looked amazeballs. i'm gonna do some more testing with this stuff, it is amazing so far but woah is it expensive for a few colourful cute balls in nice packaging.

said balls of glory.

more exciting than the guerlain meteorites however, is the book that i bought from mphonline a few days ago. it's the wreck this journal by keri smith!

dean just couldn't contain himself could he? lol.

now, what is this thing? 

this is the wreck this journal. it is a book that has illustrations and prompts that you must follow. your goal? to wreck the journal! it's really creative, and kind of crazy, and lots of fun. these are some awesome things that other people have come up with that i could find:

it's not really a book but an experience, as you have to do loads of questionable stuff to it to actually complete the instructions. i also find myself pushing myself more, like i tell myself not to be so predictable and boring and actually do something that i normally wouldn't. and best of all, it's up to me to do what i want! so everyone's book will be different. 

so far, i've spray painted my book to try to replicate stars, and i've flung my tea bag at the pages. i actually agree with the therapeutic part, i felt great haha. sometimes it's difficult because i feel so uninspired and i don't know how to make the pages exciting, but i guess that's half of the fun right there! i think this book will always be a work in progress and i'm always going to add things into it and make it uniquely mine. woo! if you want to read other reviews on this anti-journal, just google it. really.

and in doing this, i think i'm partly fulfilling my 2014 resolutions to do more! haha..suck it losers. :p i also got lost on the way to an interview the other day, but it wasn't as fulfilling as it looked on the internet because i was late and there was traffic and i was like fuck it but it was still awesome in its own way.

well, that's it for me. ta!

my irresolute resolutions for 2014.

"fill your eyes with ♥"

i think i can say with 100% certainty that i do not fulfill resolutions. ever. i make lists and then i look at them and try to do one or two then end up getting lazy and bored and...yeah. resolutions aren't really for me.

but that sure as hell never stopped me before haha. i like making lists, i just don't like completing them. and anyways, i need this post to look back on next year as proof that i did muck up my resolutions right? :p

so here are my 2014 resolutions which i will try my best to somewhat fulfill, even though a great scholar named yoda clearly said "do or do not. there is no try." heh, i bet you're the type to complete your resolutions right yoda? 

so. what'll it be this year huh? i've made a list here. see for yourself.

travel more and be more adventurous

yes, that's right. i want to travel more. this year i want to take the time to drive someplace where i've never been before. i'm the kind of person who's afraid to get lost, still am, but hey, i'll never get over this fear if i don't try right? 

do more. 
it sounds so simple. do more. yet it's something that i find i'm struggling with these past few years. i find myself always alone, lazy and in my own thoughts. i prefer sitting at home doing nothing than getting out there and taking care of business. and i can't do that anymore. i want to be the kind of person who does and not just dreams.

i want to finish my masters this year. i want to be more productive with my work and show people how passionate i am about what i do. i don't want to wait for things to come to me anymore, because it won't. so i'll do this for myself. 

i'll do more of everything, not just the serious work stuff. i'll play more video games. i'll read more books. i'll meet more people. i'll get more creative. i'll even care more about the people i'm around.

i'll do this!

healthy heart, healthy body, healthy mind.

my health isn't the best right now. i have the eczema thing to deal with, and i've been gaining weight because i sometimes feel so weighed down yet empty in my head that i'll sit in my room and do absolutely nothing. so this year i wanna change that, slowly. i want to eat better and healthier foods and eat less processed foods. i've actually been quite good at avoiding some bad foods like meggi and all that, but i'm really bad when it comes to junk food. they are my downfall.

so this year, i'm going to drink more water for the sake of my skin, exercise more for the sake of my body, and eat better food. i'm not gonna stop eating unhealthy foods though, i know i won't be able to, but i'm gonna eat them less maybe? sounds doable. 

i'm also going to think more positive thoughts, and channel my efforts into more positive things. i'm not going to be so self-conscious of myself and put myself down all the time. i'm going to be so positive people are gonna see sunrays shining out of my ass.

become more organised.

you mean make more lists? lol. i need to become more organised and neater and clean my room more and file my stuff better cos i'm honestly shit at that kind of stuff. i also need to de-clutter my space and life, i've got way too many clothes and shoes and whatnot, some that i don't wear often and don't like, some i can't fit into anymore, some that are so faded and holey that i should be shot if i wear them out again (those are the most comfortable ones though). 

so out those will go, so i can make more space for new shit hahaha yes!

become less introverted.

er, i don't know if i am introverted or simply weird, but i really prefer being on my own most of the time. attachments are so hard to maintain all the time, yeesh. this doesn't mean that i don't love and appreciate my friends, i love them to bits but a lot of the time i am content to be in my own company instead of others. but no more of this! i need to be friendlier and more open towards other people (i don't trust people lol). who knows, maybe i'll join a club or a frat or something like that.

a slave to the dollar no more. 

hello my name is anis and i am a shopaholic. i am. i buy so much stuff that i may or may not need with the little amount of money that i get every month. i prefer shopping to eating and filling my gas, true story. but this year i want to save more of my money on more meaningful things, like travelling or buying something i really need or have wanted for a long time i.e. a kindle so i can read more books and not have to lug around a hard copy with me (although i prefer actual books than e-books, books are not environmentally friendly yo) or an actual pc so i can play moar games muahaha. or even buy a nice cat tree for wally!

wally can live like an elf...

..or live like king arthur. fancy.

i also need to buy less makeup. god i think i buy too much makeup, but sometimes when i look at the stuff i buy i'm like, "i don't have this shade of blush do i?". it's maddening. i'm not saying i'm gonna stop buying makeup or anything, i just need to be less impulsive. buy only the stuff that i've wanted for a long time. or buy something that i feel like i really really want and would regret if i never bought it (like limited edition stuff y'know). i need to think before i buy. cewah.

capture more memories.

i'm sore of shit with a camera. i admit it. i'm always too lazy to take pictures of other people and too self-conscious to take pictures of myself. but i'm gonna try to change that this year, and become less camera shy maybe? honestly i just need to use my camera more, because it's just sitting there, doing nothing. it's sad and i don't like it. so i'm definitely gonna take more pictures of things (80% of these pictures are likely to be of my cat) and post them everywhere. woohoo. can't wait! (trying to psych myself up here haha)

aaaand...yeah, i think that's it! doesn't sound like too much, and doesn't sound too daunting. woohoo i am so gonna rock this year. 

have a nice day people! :)

kickass things i loved in 2013

"the biggest of mistakes can be forgiven

but a snowball of little white lies will crush your hands"

happy 2014!

*gaily throws confetti and fluffy kittens everywhere* 

wait..we're already..er, 9 days in huh? oh well. bananas and monkey farts.

anyways i wanted to round up the less-than-stellar year that is 2013. many things have happened this year, most of them bad, some of them good but meh it was an okay year. i'm seriously, seriously hoping though, that this year's gonna be kick ass. KICK ASS. okay? okay.

now...