sikit aku dah jadi bukit.

oh.

penat gila. tapi at last siap la jugak.

one week of lame non-fun and thoughts of work and doom.

very nice. very depressing.

tapi dah siap semalam waste management model aku.

along with the questions to ask contractors.

sekarang...nak cari kotraktor nak interview je. hah.

tomorrow i'm going to waste management association malaysia,

to try and make some sense of my work.

should i show them my model?

wow them with my people skills?

surprise them with my tiny-ness? lol.

after that, contractor who have used waste plans on site.

then, those who haven't.

then, construction industry development board.

i sense some pretty exciting stuff coming.

yawn.

omg nak main game lah.

i can't think of a funny blog-post title. silly me.

"my dreams are as big as hulk hogan,

and my hopes are as tall as shaquille o'neal."

i think it's kind of funny that i say more hello's and how are you's

to cats than i say them to people.

i will usually greet every single cat i see when i'm on my way home,

but sometimes i don't even talk to people for days at a time.

i am so awesomely retarded. hahaha.

i will change that now.

hello, you. yeah, the you that's reading my blog. i have one word to say to you.

antidisestablishmentarianism.

enjoy. hahahaha.

there was some fuss going about on facebook just now about my pre-grad dinner theme and whatnot.

all poo-pah to me. srsly, we're in 4th years mate, we can wear whatever the heck we like.

follow la the theme sikit-sikit kan. don't go all diva pulak haha.

but srsly. baju kurung is NOT appropriate for a black tie masquerade event lah.

not even a black tie event. or a masquerade event. or whatever.

and that's all i can think of writing.

...except that i am cool because i have a polar bear stuck to my ipod.

geddit? polar bear? cool?

:\

with butterflies in my stomach and the car keys in hand.

i have nothing substantial to say nowadays.

...except that my cat is really huge. wally has like, a pot belly now.

hahaha.

i'm changing my blog header today.

i say changing, because i haven't changed it yet.

i went on a photoshop spree last night.

amazingly, i still remember some stuff. some. hah.

not to say that it's nice though. i wish i could do better, but i can't so...whatever.

while i'm being random, i'd like to comment on a subject.

just a teensy bit.

guys, if any of you have a girlfriend/girlfriends/whatever, please love them okay?

don't be mad at people because they got tired of waiting for you for 3 hours, okay?

don't forget to apologize because you were in your room sleeping,

while they waited in the stinkin' tv room for a phone call from you, okay?

don't forget the fact that they have loads of work to do but they still wait for you,

probably because they love you.

don't take people for granted, one day they might just...disappear.

one day that love might fade away, if you don't work for it.

one day, they might realize that there's probably someone better out there waiting for them, and only you don't realize that.

one day, you might be left alone.

bitter, angry, and hurt.

and you can't blame them.

because in all honesty, i think they've run out of excuses to stay in love with you.

and that's when you realize.

love isn't about falling in love.

it's about staying in love,

long past the butterflies in the stomach, and the heart-shaped boxes,

and the valentine's day wishes, and the dates to movies.

so, appreciate her. them. whatever.

because if i find out that you're not, i'm gonna put a fork right between your fucking eyes.

because i love my friends, you arse.

nota untuk diri sendiri.

"it's all been done,

and it's all been said."

bila kau ada hati, kau pakai baik-baik ya.

jangan sebab hati kau orang lain sakit.

kau bukan tuhan.

satu hari kau pasti dapat balasan.

jangan sebab hati orang lain kau merana.

kau tu bukan kuat sangat.

kau tu manusia.

bila kau ada otak, jau fikir elok-elok ya.

kau dah pandai fikir elok dan tak elok kan?

tak perlulah mak ayah kau tanggung dosa kau lagi.

kau dah besar.

kau bukan budak lagi.

kena pandai buat keputusan sendiri.

bila kau dah ada jantung, kau bertahan ya.

guna jantung kau elok-elok.

kuatkan semangat kau. kuatkan ketahanan kau.

kau kenal diri sendiri lebih baik dari orang lain kenal kau.

kau pandai-pandai lah nilai kekuatan sendiri.

bila kau dah ada semua ni, kau ingat ya.

kau masih ada nyawa.

syukurlah.

mood matching music.

"hope is lost forever, hey!"

i know i'm not much of a dancer.

but damn, some songs have that jiggle-your-butt-around beat.

...not that i'm..uh, jiggling.

hah.

current song: she wants to move - n.e.r.d

beat it!

i have basically 5 kinds of music that i listen to.

a) mellow

sad times call for sad, sad, sappy songs.

don't talk to me when i'm in this mood, i'm generally a pain in the ass emo.

songs like: emotion by destiny's child's, vienna by billy joel, walking by by holiday parade and box car racer's i feel so. god i'm so beremosi. hahaha.

b) dancy pants

in this mood, i song a lot.

and dance around a lot.

and a lot of weird jerky movements going on.

air guitar is implemented. oh no.

this is my "girls just wanna have fun" mood.

songs like: she likes to move by n.e.r.d, cookie jar by gym class heroes, the dark of the matinee by franz ferdinand, head automatica stuff, and frank sinatra's awesome mambo italiano. :P

c) bang head here

this is when i release tension. let out steam. scream the eff out.

hells yeah.

well some of my songs may not be headbangin' enough for you, but i loves them a lot. hee.

songs like: godspeed by anberlin, anything by billy talent, pain by jimmy eat world (i try but it shows), and this cocaine makes me feel like i'm on this song by s.o.a.d haha.

d) i feel smart

hah. i have this weird mood where i feel really well...not smart actually, but deep.

so i listen to all these meaningful songs with great lyrics with big words that i pretend to understand. haha.

songs like: ANYTHING by switchfoot, really. and john meyer. and owl city's pretty good, but my brother says the guy adam sounds gay. hoh.

e) on top of the world

when i'm feeling stupidly positive.

really, i have really weird mood swings. pms slalu kot.

songs like: cochise by audioslave, paramore's ignorance, feel good inc by gorillaz (i'm weird like that), and montreal -40c by malajube which is so friggin cool even though i don't understand a word of french.

except for putain, which you should never repeat to a woman, okay? haha.

guh. what a random post i have here.

i have more to add tapi dah terlampau malas dah. :P

leverage is awesome btw. go watch it, wicked series.

are you happy now?

maybe we're not so different, you and i.

you're looking for something,

or someone,

and i'm looking for myself.

it's not easy to live, you know.

they say live and love hard,

be the person you want to be,

don't compromise.

but living is not easy,

and dying is easy but consequential.

some people won't like you for who you are.

some people want you to change.

some people want you to be more like them.

everyone fucking wants something out of you.

and you're stuck in the middle of the road,

thinking,

"how the hell did i get here?"

and then you realize,

this isn't who you wanted to be in the first place.

this isn't you at all.

this doesn't even have a fragment of who you are.

who are you?

are you happy now?

sam worthington yang kacak dan perkara rawak lain.

saye suke sam worthington, especially bile dia ada rambut. kacak betul dia. bila dia jadi na'vi pun cute, sebab dia suke sengih jahat.

saye nak gunting rambut tadi, tapi akak yang gunting rambut tu takde. saye rase penat hegeh-hegeh ke center. :(

saye suke sangat cite avatar. dan cite sherlock holmes. due2 best gile. due2 funny. jude law pun kacak jugak. bila dia nak datang malaysia ha?

saye penat buat thesis. lecturer saye cakap saye terbuat due chapter dalam satu chapter, saye kena bahagikan chapter tu jadi due pulak. jadi sekarang literature review saye dah very advanced. hahaha.

tapi bile lecturer saye ckp macam tu saye pikir dalam ati, "patut le aku penat sangat aritu pikir. hampeh." tapi saye senyap, senyum je kat lecturer saye...

...sebab lecturer saye hensem. hoh hoh hoh gilo ke apo aku arini?

saye rase nak makan pisang. tadi saye ade sebiji pisang tapi rupenye dah buruk. tu lah, nak simpan saaaaangat...

rumet saye cakap dia mau kawin supaye dia tak payah buat thesis dah. saye macam setuju je. siape nak kawin dengan saye mari la, saye bagi cokelat getah.

saye dah beli left 4 dead 2 kat pc fair tadik. saye nak install la. macam best lepaskan tension dengan bunuh zombi. saye ade jugak register dengan game online tadi sebab dia nampak macam counter-strike. balik bilik tadi terus main cs, menang sbg terrorist. yay. :P

saye teringin nak jadi manusia yang berguna.

saye sabar.

saye ade confession. (apehal saye saye pulak ni?)

saye nak gi tengok wayang.

tapi takde orang nak tengok wayang dengan saye.

ok ok ade, tapi diorang tengah kat rumah la sekarang.

saye kat rumah jugak. tapi saye sorang.

abang saye keluar.

kucing saye keje tido dgn gigit kaki je. oh dgn berak.

kenape takde orang mau lepak dgn saye?

saye bosan.

nak tengok sherlock holmes.

nak tengok avatar.

nak tengok the tooth fairy.

nak tengok legion.

dan alvin and the chipmunks: the squeakquel.

dan cirque du freak: the vampire's assistant.

banyak betul saye nak tengok. padan la takde org nak tengok dgn saye hahaha.

kalau ade orang nak sembang dengan saye pun takpe la. tak payah tengok movie pun. saye pun takde duit sekarang. saye nak kawan je.

saye cume nak orang dengar bile saye bebel.

saye cume nak makan dgn orang, tak best asyik makan sorang.

saye nak orang teman saye tengok cite hantu. saye suke sangat cite hantu.

saye nak tengok langit malam-malam dan ingat orang yang ade, bukan ingat orang yang tak pernah ade.

tapi takpelah. saye tak layak disayangi. saye sampah terbuang, bile suke layan bile tak suke wat tak tahu. takpe, saye dah biase macam tu. banyak kali dah. saye sabar. mak saye cakap orang sabar dapat balasan baik dari Allah.

jadi saye sabar.

kalau saye tak sabar tolong saye ye.

kalau saye tak sabar sangat maafkan saye ye.