guh.

you know what?
you're just like other guys.

and i don't think too highly about you right now.
so eff off loser.

please don't get me rescued.

"one last time, i'll be strong,

but whatever you do,

please don't get me rescued"

so, because i can't go watch harry potter and the deathly hallows part one at the movies as of yet, i've decided to take matters into my own filthy little paws and buy the game. well, it's half blood prince, but you get what i mean. i'm just that excited, lol.

apart from my brother and me (or is it my brother and i? adoi.) i don't meet too many people who actually love playing games as much as i do. i mean, yeah some of my buddies do like playing those fifa soccer games and all that, but i honestly think those are mindnumbingly boring. sorreh.

i haven't met one actual person who's actually as excited as i am that the witcher 2 is coming out in 2011, or who can recommend some awesome fps games that i can totally get into. why? why is that? is it because my interests are totally boring or because everyone else is all grown up and stuff? :\

oh no.

oh god. i just scratched my nose and my hand totally smells like wally's litter. not the poo litter, the sand itself. it smells like apples. it's not like i didn't wash my hand thorooughly afterwards, it's just that i just cleaned and put new sand into his poo-box. the smell really sticks.

(unsure if this is a good thing or not, but won't elaborate any further)

i wonder what everyone's been up to.

i want to buy stuff. i have no gaji yet. i feel small and quite insignificant because i haven't got my gaji yet.

i need to buy a cooler master, because of my internet/gaming/laptop using addictions.

this is a new laptop, and it's already giving me a headache.

i need to buy some camel coloured pants to wear to work. you know, to jazz up my outfit. (becoz i so stylish la)

randomly (again),

people who have kareoke in weddings are sad, sad people. well, okay, at least if you wanna have tone-deaf people singing in one of the most memorable moments in your life you should be consider other people who don't want to even be associated to said tone-deaf people. jangan la pasang lagu kawin kuat-kuat. jangan la main kompang semangat sangat sampai kucing aku lari ketakutan. jangan la buat majlis malam-malam sampai pukul 12. ada orang mau tido paham taaaaak?

(end rant)

i am totally sending these people some hatemail. plus, i will not add them on facebook. never! (private joke)

luke, i am your father.

it's eleven something something, and i am already sleepy.
see how work has taken a toll on my life?

uhh, so. i never seem to write anything interesting in here.
have i ever anyways? :\

i'm kinda broke nowadays. because i can't get the pay for my current job (end of the month baru dapat all of it) and my new job's not started yet, and i don't want to spend all of the cash my parents gave me because then i'll be really broke and then i will have to eat meggi.
but that might help with my diet, since i am all for being 'healthy'nowadays.
...okay maybe healthier. not healthy.

for a start, i exercise everyday now.
i don't eat rice all that much anymore, because you know, white rice ain't that good for you.
but i still snack. and that is a huge problem.
i've always been a snacking kind of person.
chips, cookies, canned fruits, random stuff. i love all of them. i think i'm addicted, oh no.
and as we speak, i stare guiltily at the packet of cookies i just bought today.
they're hell on the body, but they're delicious. i mean, i can't be super healthy can i?
that'd just be insane. hah.
:l aaaahhh fine i'll cut back on snacks.

i'm more than 10% sure that i smell like shit right now.
because i haven't showered yet after coming back from the gym.
ahhh no. must go shower. cannot smell self. will faint.

oh by the way, anyone who is anyone who is anyone i like should mosdefly watch man vs wild. or man, woman, wild. it's on discovery channel, and i think it's awesome.
basically these people are stranded in certain places (e.g desert, amazon, geddit?) and they have to survive for like, 3 days by themselves. they have to hunt for food, make their own shelters and whatnot, and do all the stuff they have to to survive. they have to eat stuff like crocodiles, snakes, worms, opossums (which people actually eat in normal situations, so ew). i like reality shows like this because they're informative and it's actually kind of awesome. i think if i were to get lost in a jungle somewhere i could probably, hmm..start a fire?
...well all the same i think from now on i'm always gonna carry a lighter with me. just in case. and some rope. and cloth. and food. and bottles of water.

yes i am crazy like that. ta!

looking for a boyfriend.

"i got you all figured out,

you need everyone's eyes just to feel seen"

ah. i knew that post title would interest you, secret stalker.
how have you been? good? hmm?
ah, well i've been a bit busy, lots of things going on and such.

this topic is interesting huh?
well, afraid not. honestly i think the best thing about having a boyfriend is having someone to talk to when you're bored, and someone to hang out with when you're...well, also bored. but all that lovey dovey stuff kinda gets tiring after a while, does it not? i mean, at first you're so ecstatic and happy that you've find the one, then you spend all your time devoting yourself to him/her, then you feel like you're so in sync with your 'other half'.

meh, those things, they fade away pretty fast. pretty soon you're making those tiny little black wishes and you're always in a bad mood. and it's not like you want to be that way right? god forbid you be anything other than cool and awesome. but love, it does things to your head. messes with your self-confidence. makes you vulnerable. some people say that's one of the best things about being in love.

i say that is jack-shit. nobody likes being vulnerable. everybody has walls that can't be penetrated unless they want you to, and most people aren't comfortable with walls with holes in them. so we fight, and we question our sanity, and we wonder why the hell we do this kind of thing, it's not worth the hurt and the suck.

then tomorrow we make up and we're suddenly in love again. guh.

maybe we humans are a masochistic bunch. we thrive on pain, love it, we wanna suck it all in. or maybe i just haven't really fallen in love with the right person yet, and all that love drama that i've experienced and heard about from people are part of the picture. maybe there are people who really fall in love, can understand and tolerate each other, and genuinely care about one another to the point where people go "awww".

maybe i'll find that kind of love someday, you know? someone i can talk to who actually listens and understands me, someone with cool interests who i can totally get into, someone who doesn't have to change for me, and i don't have to think about changing for him.

i mean, when you think carrefully about it, all the psycho exes or bitter relationships that you've had is all because love is kind of stressful, you know? it's not something that can be casually tossed around.
i don't think you should ever say "i love you" to someone without actually committing to him/her, so be careful when you say that stuff, okay? i'd rather have a relationship with someone who says it after 5 months than with someone who says it after being with me for like, 5 days. because hello, you don't even know me. how can you love me? kan kan?

aiseh. love is such a complicated topic. everyone thinks differently when it comes to lurrrve. me? like half of the world's population who still hasn't found their other half, i'm still waiting for love to come find me. because i'm lazy, harhar.

and well, i don't want to be defined by my relationship status. i'm trying so hard to avoid that. you know how some people say, you'll never be lonely when you're in a relationship. that's bull. you can be in a relationship of 10 years and still be the loneliest person on earth. so right now, i'm waiting for love to come to me and in the mean time, i want to be able to be alone, and perfectly happy with it.

it's not an easy task, but hey, i'm going there. :D

there's an ant on my desk. yay.

hello people. how have you been?

it's been a while (a short while) since i've updated. so i guess some people (or none) are wondering what i'm up to now.

well i'm a research assistant at universiti malaya now. yay me for at least nailing one job! haha.

it's okay, the job doesn't entail much yet at the moment because i just started like, last week. some of my tasks include accounting, researching, doing surveys and all that. it's a major plus that i live so close to the university and the people here are friendly. so well, cool. ^_^

but i just got a phone call today from a qs consultant for a job interview. i applied like, 2 weeks ago. since i just got this job, i feel kinda bad going for other interviews. but you gotta advance anyhow, right? not my fault, right? :\

i don't know lah. pursue my masters or look for a job? which one would benefit me more? (both would la, you douche) no no wrong question. which one do i want? i'm kind of undecided because i haven't had any experience in both. and i know i need both. but working life's tough. but doing my masters might mean no moolah and no experience. but...but...butt, haha.

oh well. i shall discuss this problem with my dearly beloved parental units and see what they say. you should always listen to what your parents have to say. (i learnt this the hard way lol) because most of the time they end up being completely right and i'm left feeling completely embarassed. guh. i hate being embarassed.

uhm. i'm updating my blog from the office. is that bad? dah siap keje, ok la kan lepak?

...i'm so screwed. :\