i've got reasons why.

"even in my dreams i am restless, looking for you."

- restless, switchfoot

dear world,

please listen to more switchfoot. the lyrics to their songs contain probably some of the most poignant and though-provoking phrases i've ever had the pleasure of listening to in my life. 

my favourite song of their at the moment is restless. i mean, how can you not love a song with lyrics that are so profound. it speaks of the kind of love everyone probably dreams about but don't ever mention, the kind of hopeful and breathtaking love that if i'm lucky enough, i'll get to experience one day. (fingers crossed?) 

even in my dreams, i am restless looking for you. these words, to me, embody love in all its glory, it's the kind of emotion you reserve for the real things in life, like God, and love. now, i know i sound all sapped out and hopelessly romantic or some kind of fool for believing in such sentiments, i mean, life is a cruel mistress as they say, (has someone ever said that? i think someone has. couldn't have made that up) but sometimes, in life, you have to have hope.

you have to know that things get better one day. that the shitty things do go away, and one day you will be man enough to remember the hard times and think to yourself, "look at the things that i've gone through. look at me now, stronger than before".

it's nice, no, it's great sometimes to keep these kind of thoughts in your head. sometimes things get rough, you feel like you want to just give up and forget everything, sometimes you wonder why you even bother. those are the times when you've got to take a step back, and learn to love and appreciate everything that you've got. 

i'm all for falling in love with some awesome dude one day. one day. that sounds like it's gonna be a good day. but you know what they say, love yourself before you can love others. it's kind of hard sometimes. i'm still not fully there. i doubt if i can ever be that confident, glowingly beautiful woman with her independence and firm thoughts, but i'm gonna settle for crazy, not-quite-there-yet chick with jumbled creepy thoughts and a determination to mean something to the world.

one way or another, i'm gonna make the world a better place. 

and that, my friends, is what you call loving yourself.

:D

p/s:
random story. i went to a switchfoot concert when i was in uni once. it was unplanned, crazy, and one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me. during the concert, jon foreman who is the lead singer of switchfoot, (who is in my eyes one of the greatest philosophers of this generation) said something that awed me.

it's actually one of the things that prompted me to want to become a better person, in a way. he made me feel like i was something, it didn't matter how or who i was important to. what mattered was somehow, someway, someday, i would make a difference. he said:

"i do not believe that i have been given these lungs for nothing".

there, make what you want out of it.