2015 sneaked up on me like a tiny ninja.

it's 2015.

is it really 2015?

god it really is 2015.

how the time flies. i haven't even finished my masters yet and the year's ended already. gahhh. i've only got myself to blame for that. i'm a completely lazy wanker. i'm just going to pretend that 2012 to 2014 never happened, and that i am an organised, hygenic, gorgeous goddess instead of the idiot that i really am. yes.

lol no.

to be fair, i am going to submit my draft thesis this february the 5th. yepppp. less than a month away. i am not even close to being done yet, but here i am, posting on blogger. like i said, i am a wanker, but mostly to myself. but i can do it. i'm gonna have to do it cos i got no choice tho, lolzzzz, die. 

so i had a looksee at my resolutions for 2014. mehh, they're typical resolutions. get healthier, be more positive, yadda yadda. don't think i've accomplished anything to be honest. i have lost some weight, and i did get lost often, but that's about it. i ate healthier some days, most days i ate chocolate and binge-watched videos on youtube. but i did feel like i was more positive this year. i wasn't as depressed and depressing as i was when i was sick, and i felt happier most of the times. that's a good start. ooh and i think i shopped less than i did the year before, but more than usual for a broke person. that's...nice?

john gets me. he totally does.

this year i have some new goals and some old ones. yeah i'll try to eat healthier foods and exercise more (tipu) and be more adventurous...but honestly i think i'm just gonna chill. 2015 will be the year that i do nothing. unlike the past few years. totally true. but i do have some things i have to complete this year. i've made very specific mini goals so that they seem less daunting...or more daunting, i really haven't decided yet.

so this year i will:

1. graduate with my masters degree - because if i don't then die la, no use living la cannot finish masters on time
2. get a job that pays actual money - so i can spend it all, woohoo to that!
3. have savings that i will totally not use of more than RM2000 - related to above. i'm not that convinced i can do this which is why i need to do it. maybe i'll use it to travel. i've always wanted to visit london. or new zealand. or greece. or turkey. or ireland. ok ok i'll stop. 
4. earn more than RM1000 in a single salary - dunno why i'm saying this, i've never had an actual job with a salary less than RM1000 (the temp ones don't count for me) but wahey i already typed it.
5. produce 1 journal paper - namely, the one journal paper that i should have done last year but i wasn't done with data collection yet so here i am, journal paper-less
6. lose 3 kg - lol very specific. i originally put 5 kg but i was like eff that i ain't gonna be that motivated. we'll see where this goes. 
7. finish the whole lord of the rings book trilogy (plus appendices?) - i'm extremely embarrassed and ashamed to say that i've never finished reading the lotr books. i know, blasphemy. but this year i will prevail and finish the books. i've already read the hobbit like 4 times so i should have no problems with this endeavor. i'm currently nearly finished with the fellowship of the ring and it's only january so i'm way ahead of schedule!
8. finish game of thrones series - yet another book series i neglected to read. love the tv series, am already on book 3 but i had to reset my phone so my e-book app had to be reinstalled and i lost track of my reading progress. fairly certain i can finish this series as i will have some time when i am unemployed later this year lol.
9. wear bright lipstick outside - this is a weird one. like, you know i like makeup right? but i am terrified of bright lipstick. terrified. i've always dreamed of being confident enough to rock some bright lips on a daily basis. while interacting with human beings. like woah. i have confidence issues when it comes to my lips, i think they're small and uneven and blegh. but i am lucky enough to have lips so i should be grateful and learn to love what i have. so yeah, bright lips. i really need to step out of my comfort zone this year and be a bolder, crazier version of myself! 
10. hit pan / finish 3 makeup products - this is a puzzle of mine. i never understand how people can finish a makeup product. like, i know i have a lot of shit but i've seen people with way more makeup that i have and they seem to be able to finish their stuff before they expire. i just can't. dunno how to. i think it's because i always try to be subtle with my makeup. i wear red eyeshadow but i don't make the colours super saturated and pigmented, i prefer them muted and blended...i think lah. well i'm not gonna turn into cakeface just to finish my makeup, but i want to use at least 3 items until they finish. not skincare cos i finish those all the time. i am confident i can do it though so no worries.
11. organise wardrobe - oh my goddd this needs to be done so badly. i have so many old clothes from 5 years back but i haven't worn them much because i tend to have favourites and only wear those but i can't throw these away cos they're so unused and i feel guilty and sad and i like them but not enough lol. i need to donate/wear/throw out half of these clothes and become more minimalist in my wardrobe approach. i feel zen just thinking about a cleaner wardrobe.
12. take better care of skin - i'm extremely thankful that 2014 was the year that my skin got better. like, it's improved by 80% i would say. i still have some issues with allergies and whatnot, but it's manageable, unlike 2012 and 2013 where i doped myself with antihistamines 90% of the time cos i couldn't stand the itch. this year i wanna make sure i use the right products for my skin and...well, not overuse products, you know? i wanna keep it to the basics. lessen the frills and excessive use of products. i think my skin will thank me for it.
13. find a friend for life - now this is a bit of a challenge for me. when i say friend for life i mean...you know. *blush* lmao. this year i will try to make more of an effort to find my one true love, the frodo to my sam. the sherlock to my john (and i am totally serious about this one). the peanut butter to my nutella. well actually i don't even mean just a boyfriend or whatever, i just mean a friend. someone in sync with me, someone who shares the same gruesome love for horror movies and loves cats and understands nerdy pop culture references and all that. someone who shares my passion for doc martens and is random like i am. someone who's different from me but complements me at the same time. i have a feeling this friend is somewhere out there being a lazy ass like me hence the reason i haven't found them yet lol. 
14. learn one new skill - i've always wanted to learn first aid. it's useful and not many people know it and it might save a life in an emergency. i've also wanted to learn martial arts. not taekwando. self-defence is important for me cos i'm always out by myself and i have no sense of awareness haha. or maybe i'll learn chinese. the options are endless.
15. do one thing by yourself - i always do things alone. it's just how it is for me now. but i always hesitate to do actual things alone. you know that going to shopping malls and watching a movie doesn't really count as useful. i want to do something like volunteer at a shelter or zoo or whatever. well it doesn't have to be by myself, but i mean that i shouldn't not do something just because there's no one else to do it with me. because then i'll miss out on life. and adventures.

aaaand that's it i guess. at the start of next year i'll probably come and visit this post and see how i did with my goals. i'm guessing i'll do horribly hahaha. oh well, such is life. laters!

p/s: in case you were wondering what colour i meant when i talked about bold lipstick, i'm talking about burgundy lips. like this picture: