Well, I don't know. Perhaps I want to be perfect. Perhaps I want to forget who I am for the moment, but can't. Perhaps I dream too much. Perhaps this is just who I am. But I want God to know that I am not upset of the way He made me. I'm just upset with the way I made myself.
The one thing I could never understand about life is how it sometimes feels like a dream. Have you ever felt that? Life sometimes feels like an endless dream to me. I've dreamed so many things in my head, both consciously and subconsciously that I find myself...lost and confused, not knowing which life is real and which life is made up.
But I like dreaming. When you dream you can be whoever you want. You can be six foot tall, or you can be a bird, or you can be a twinkling star, or you can simply be yourself. Doesn't matter, whatever floats your boat. I can be long winded and confusing, or straight to the point and simple. I can be whatever I want to be, and no one will ever know.
The one thing I could never understand about people is how we can be so cruel. We kill, and waste, we're selfish, and lazy, and thoughtless, and ignorant. We are the most superior species in the world, but we're also the most horrible. Sometimes I wish I'd been born as a bird, or a cat, or a solid brick wall so that my sins would never affect anyone else but myself.
But that would be the easy way out, wouldn't it? And what are we without our sufferings?
I have a lot of things that I don't understand. But perhaps some other day, yes?