Tuesday, February 8, 2011

angry, very angry rant.

i don't have the energy.

it's february now, and I still haven't received my salary for january. i'm way broke, i'm de-motivated, i'm resentful towards the boss and all his insanity. i've never heard of a company that doesn't plan well enough into the future to actually save some money for a rainy day.

and boss, it's a frickin' hailstorm right now.

my parents keep telling me to find another job. i want to, but i'm too tired, too...befuddled to think right now. i don't have enough strength to wake up in the mornings already, let alone search for job vacancies and apply and go through mindless interviews and filling out forms for something i'm not sure i'll get yet.

as you can tell, i'm feeling a bit negative and hateful right now.

i have this painful ache in my mouth where the fillings for one of my tooth came out and left a gaping hole. it hurts when i eat. my gums bleed when i eat something that's too hard and chewy. it's fucking distracting. but i can't go to the dentist because i have no money to eat let alone spend it on a tooth.

my car's alignment is nuts again, because the roads in damansara are not well-maintained. there are frickin' holes everywhere and my reflexes aren't that fast to avoid them. my steering wheel's vibrating like mad. but i can't repair it because i'm afraid i'll run out of money to eat and more importantly, i might run out of cash for petrol.

i can't pay the bills. i can't pay my parking space. i can't buy groceries.

i've worked really hard for that money. that's the most maddening part. i do my job and i do come early now and leave late so that i can get paid. i'm not a volunteer. i work so i can avoid this situation.

heck, if i wanted to not be paid i would've stayed at home, would i?

but no. the top management can't pay us because the boss doesn't have money. not a single cent. nak bayar gaji to the 2 chinese girls in my office so that they can celebrate chinese new year in peace pun cannot. last-last kena pinjam dari contractor. how embarrassing and humiliating is that?

one of my officemates is pregnant and is due within this month. how's she gonna pay for all the visits to the doctor? and what happens when she actually does give birth? bukan mampu nak bayar kalau harapkan laki sorang je. and yet the boss comes to the office late, doesn't even make the effort to get the payment from the client and issues cheques that bounce. last-last bank account baru bukak dah kena suspend. tak larat nak cakap, boss gi la follow up dengan kpm tu, degil, nak suruh secretary dia jugak wat keje dia. pastu ko wat ape?

srsly, how can you not be angry and pissed off if you were in my (or my officemates') situation? bengang kan? aku tak nak la cari gaduh, buat bising pasal benda ni, tapi penat kot. penat pikir mane nak cari duit untuk makan. brape banyak dosa dah aku dapat sebab kutuk care ko handle situation ni.

argh i am so pissed off. sabar sabar, nasib baik la Allah ajar suruh sabar. fuhhhhh.

memang sah la kena carik keje lain ni. arrrgh malasnye. but better than waiting like an ass kan? it's bound to happen again.

No comments:

Post a Comment