Saturday, June 18, 2011

let me drive, i'm really good at snapping my fingers!

i like driving my car around town. i find a tiny kind of satisfaction from driving that i can't get anywhere else, it's like a taste of freedom, or something corny like that. i like blasting my loud obnoxious music from the car stereo, and i like watching people during traffic light stops. it's like a feeling of power i guess, when i'm behind these wheels, baby i'm my own boss. ha.

however, the driving condition in kl sucks like nobody's business. i hate traffic jams. they're boring and time-consuming and damned tiring because you're inching forward about this much everytime you move forward. and what is the deal with the rain anyways? everytime even a drop of rain decides to come down from the sky, bam! jam already.


but most of all, my awesome driving experience usually gets tainted by the crazy, i-can't-drive-but-i-can-try kind of people. the drivers. aaaarrrrgh.

let's divide these drivers into a few categories, shall we?

a) the speed demon
the speed demons are fast. oh they're so fast they should just drop it like it's hot. speed demons think that the roads were made for them. they do what they want. speed demons are likely to modify their cars to make that godawful engine noise where the sound's really loud but the car's just. not. moving. they hate giving signals and would prefer to take it up the arse than give a signal, because we all know that giving signals when changing lanes are totally unnecessary and only ruins the mystery.

that being said, i think i probably have a bit of a speed demon in me. hahaha. a bit la, just the speeding part, not the douchebag parts. i'm enough of a douche as i am.

 b) the arsehole
do not be fooled by appearances, for anyone can be the arsehole. the arseholes are the people who like to cut the lines by using the emergency lane, or refuse to give a signal to indicate just where the hell they are going. arseholes try to intimidate you by getting really close to your car and try to cut you off whenever they can and get really pissed when you won't let them (i won't give up without a fight)

arseholes are naturally good at cheating, they think just because they're late for work it means that they have a right to do anything they need to get to their destination.

i've dealt with a lot of arseholes while driving, and these kind of drivers piss me off the most. bloody selfish and stupid, risking other people's life so you can move like, what, 2 spots from where you were before? get a life la, other people wanna get home too, no need to himpit-himpit my car because in the end all you'll get is an irritated look and a middle finger. (i'm kind of a samseng driver la hahaha dang jatuh saham).

c) the lady drivers
ohhhh my god can you move any slower? i've seen toddlers move faster than your car, what the heck are you doing lady?

sadly, this is my reaction towards a lot of lady drivers out there. i know, i know, i'm a lady driver myself since i'm a girl and all, but i prefer not to be associated with these women so just call me idiot driver of whatever. lady drivers are annoying due to the fact that they are so...proper. cannot drive fast-fast takut mati cepat, so drive la 40km/h what the ffffffff...nevermind, just let the traffic behind you creep along slowly, wishing that they could drown themselves in their own bile and vomit.

to be fair, yes, it's good that they think of safety first, but kamonnn la don't be so slow! and then ada hati nak drive in the right hand lane, whaaaat? ok ok i is being mean. hmm. kakak-kakak lady drivers, tolong la. saya nak balik rumah sebelum azan subuh esok, akak boleh tak drive cepat sikit atau tukar ke lane kiri untuk kereta yang (lembab) slow sikit? okay thank you ye. :)

hardcore lady drivers (not all) also have a bit of the arsehole in them. always changing lanes without signalling, then expect people to chillax pulak. yeesh.

d) old people
old people above the age of 60 shouldn't drive la. i think driving at an old age makes them unfocused, blur and honestly a bit senile. why else would they forget to signal? (yes i cannot tolerate people who don't want to use their car signals, especially when there're other cars driving also at a near distance)

the old people are the same with the lady drivers, but they're probably cooler cos they'll drive vintage cars haha. i've nearly been hit once by a car driven by an old lad, mula-mula i was pissed off like hell, but then see the uncle also quite kesian so tak jadi marah la. haha see i am quite soft also what.

e) cabbies 
cabs scare the crap out of me. mostly because they don't really care about other cars, and stop wherever the heck they want to pick up a passenger. whenever there's a cab driving nearby i'm extra cautious because they're always on the lookout for passengers so they're not focused on the road.

and another thing that scares me is when they do have passengers and wanna drop them off, they sometimes just swerve to the right or left because the stupid passenger dunno how to give proper instructions to the cabbie. arrgh.

i've been hit by a cab once. no harm to dear ole' pegoo, thank god, but i was pissed man. it was during a traffic light stop, i don't know what he was doing but suddenly i felt his front bumper touch mine ever so gently. mau nak kena belasah kalau kereta aku calar, nasib baik ok je. mengong. *grumbles*

aaaand that's about it i think for drivers. end rant.

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