Gray matches your heart.

What a tiring weekend. Between juggling emotions, trying to act cool in front of a concerned mother and joining my parents' busy social schedule, I thought I'd never make it.

Mama, I know I never tell you much about anything, but you understand right? You've always understood. Like you told me, you sensed that something was wrong the moment you saw me walk to the car. It surprised me, because I didn't think I looked down, but you sensed it. You said to me, "9 bulan mama bawak adik dalam perut mama. Takkan la kalau adik sedih mama tak perasan. Nak tipu orang lain maybe boleh, tapi jangan tipu mama."

Well...I wish I could tell you the things that are inside my head, but I'm always so ashamed. I'm ashamed of making a scene and crying. I'm ashamed of being wrong. I'm ashamed because I need you so much, but I'm scared to tell you that. I'm ashamed because I'm weak, and vulnerable, and you're the only one who can tell.

I love you so much mama. Thank you.

I swear I'll tell you one day.

The curious case of the peeing Abu.

This is the first time in a very long time that I'm pissed off with a cat.

Stupid, stupid cute cat.

It happened earlier tonight. I was doing God knows what on my bed tadi, and the door to my room was open. So in strolls this cat named Abu (keje rumet aku) who's a regular in our room. He likes sitting on the carpet in front of the door. Tido pun situ, nak makan pun situ, nasib baik tak berak situ, hmph.

So I say hi to Abu, and then I went out to hang my freshly laundered clothes. (wow anak dara sape ni?) Habis la sidai baju, nak masuk bilik dah. Then I see this orange cat with a face that kind of looks like the Puss in Boots. So I say hi. Hi cat!

Enter my room. Abu smells the strange cat with his stupid sensitive nose and lari masuk compartment roomateku. I'm like, "Hoi Abu keluar cepat nak tutup pintu ni!" so I make the mistake of dragging Abu outside. Well, I didn't drag drag Abu la. I picked him up, because I'm sweet. Haha.

Nampak je Puss ni, Abu went berserk. Cam setan. He hissed really loudly at Puss, who was not that close but not so far away jugak la. I was caught in between the 2 bloody cats. Then guess what?

Abu decided to bust some kung-fu moves on my legs and twisted around macam gila. Then, I was like "Shit!" because Abu totally. Peed. Everywhere.

And it did go everywhere. The pee I mean, not Abu. It went all over the floor outside, and kena a bit of the floor inside, and on the shoes nearby, and it was on the walls, and the friggin' door.

And remember that part where I said I was between the two cats?

Well ha ha cat. You hit me with your pee. I squealed like a maniac, punya la takut haha. I did jump as far away as I could, but when I saw that the pee went all over the place, rase cam takde harapan je nak bersih. So I had to change my clothes, wipe the pee off from the door and shoes, while my roomate basuh the lantai. Bazir masa sungguh hati la.

So, now I have scratch marks on my left leg, and clothes with pee stains on them (I think) and I find that although cats are adorable, I'd really like to slaughter Abu for revenge.

p/s: Abu, stop staring at me funny. I know you're trying to look innocent. Hampeh kau kucing, you pee on me. You will pay.

Success!

Yay for my newest self-made layout! I am so proud of my awesomeness. Hahaha.

Okay, it might look a bit harried, having at least 500 colours in background, but I hope you'll get used to it. :P

Also, get over the fact that you can't see my profile and its stupid rantings. Hahaha.

I like it. (of course, I made it.) It makes me feel energized! Nice. :)

Hey kamu, bebot!

I've been trying to change this friggin' blog's layout since yerterday, but no such luck. Tahi kentut sungguh kamu internet. >:\

Oh wait, opening song lyrics takde. Dang you jugak memori yang tidak kuat. :(

"In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey."

So, whatever. This semester feels quite slow, to be honest. I mean, we all have assignments and Mr. Nigel and Pak Abu telling us to do stuff, but we haven't actually started doing any of these things yet.

Ok ok I haven't started doing these things yet. Tapi sme orang nampak so lepak nowadays so it's hard to tell.

Oh. I got electrocuted this morning. Ok how the heck do you spell electrocuted? Betul ke eja camtu?

*emosi terganggu sbb fail spelling*

My iron totally went Chuck Norris on me and decided that it was tired of serving my egotistical, uncrinkly needs. Stupid iron. Sakit nak mati tau kena letrik. I'd like to give you some of that.

And stupidly, even though loads of people die due to electricity-related injuries, I thought having a jolt of Wattage through you didn't hurt much. Maybe it felt like a sting ke, or like a cut on the hand or something minor like that.

But that's bullshit, because it fucking hurts. Being electrocuted by a stupid iron sucks. Eff you, inanimate obejcts of doom.

Is it just me, or are there far too many mosquitoes nowadays in UIA? Kang aku kena denggi aku saman kau. Dah la suka saman Pegoo aku, marah kalau pakai jeans sampai terkedek-kedek aku lari. Then wat muke cam tapir bila nak masuk mahalah malam2. Piss off, you. I hate authorities.

Ehh! My parents are coming this weekend. Yes! My mama promised me a new bag. (tak mintak pun, tapi dah lama teringin le. haha)

Ohhhhh no! Shite! Kena basuh baju! :'(

Later.

This one last bullet you mention is my redemption.

"If you want someone a friend to be, guess you'll have to win the lottery."

This is the best I've felt in days. So I'm gonna appreciate my good mood and post an entry, preferably one without emo vibes in it. *gasp! oh noes!*

I'm going to take things as they are, however they are. One of my old philosophies used to be "No matter how bad today is, the sun still shines tomorrow, so it can't be that bad right?"

That's what I'm going to do for my life. It's the least I can do without messing myself up. I will not over-analyze. (at least, I'm not going to tell you that I'm over-analyzing haha.) I will be confident, and smart, and helpful. I will not be lazy, or mean, or useless. I am strong, and capable, and one hell of a nice person. (am I? Ok ok I am.) I will not be a jealous biatch, I will not care so much as to jeapordize my relationships. This means sort of like, lantak kau la nak buat apa pun kind of thing, but in a nicer way.

I'm sorry for being overbearing. And maniacal. I'm starting over.

And right now I'm going to see if Harry Potter 6 dah keluar kat Limewire ke belum. Hahaha.