Sunday, November 15, 2009

i'm taken by the thought of you.

"to ten million fireflies,
i'm weird cause i hate goodbyes,
i got misty eyed as they said farewell."

1) i love owl city.
it's made of epic win.
adam, you're beautiful. thank you for the love.

2) who wants to go watch 2012 with me? :(
i don't mind going at it alone,
but the thought of watching the end of the world alone is kind of depressing.
ha ha.

3) anyways.
just got back from another day with my sister and her crazy kids.
now, some might think i'm immature for saying this,
or whatever,
but some people are not meant to have kids.

it's just soooo stressful!
you might think you love the kid, but then he or she tests you by crying the whole day,
or kicking you in the shins and running away,
or whacking you in the head with a plastic stick,
or being too cuddly and suffocating.

i look at my sister, and she's hanging in there.
but you can tell that it's really hard.
to people who claim that they LOVE kids,
have a go at my sister's kids for a few hours and see how you fare.
if you still love them at the end of the day, you pass.

i think to myself sometimes,
will i love my kids as much when i have them one day?
can i love them unconditionally?
through their bad points and good points?
will i love them as much when they've messed up their lives somehow?
can i be a good role model?
a good mom?
(will i be a mom anyways? lol.)

then, my sister scolds her oldest kid, daniel for being really really naughty.
(this is normal.)
he cries, and cries, then he comes running towards me.
towards my outstretched arms.
and then, even though he just whacked me in the head with a yogurt drink bottle moments earlier,
i give him a huge hug and try to comfort him.
my sister laughs and says,
"you fell for it again."

i don't know if i'd ever be a good mom or not.
but i sure as heck know that i will love my kids unconditionally.
i know, because i will try.

i'm learning from the people around me.

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